We think of serendipity as luck, chance,and things just happening by accident.
It’s not.
Serendipity is actually an art, it’s the art of being such a good detective that you can predict what is coming, the future before it’s happened, and be prepared.
In this week's podcast, Stephanie and Maren talk about this lost art and how to start developing these skills for yourself!
LINKS
11:17 Serendipity (movie)
17:27 Life Uncommon (Jewel song)
21:51 12 Days of Creation (future presencing program)
Please share your insights and questions in one of our Soulful Leaders groups:
Get all the latest episodes, news and updates directly to your inbox. Subscribe here. TheSoulfulLeaderPodcast.com
Watch the podcasts on our YouTube Channel: @Soulful Leaders
We think of serendipity as luck, chance,and things just happening by accident.
It’s not.
Serendipity is actually an art, it’s the art of being such a good detective that you can predict what is coming, the future before it’s happened, and be prepared.
In this week's podcast, Stephanie and Maren talk about this lost art and how to start developing these skills for yourself!
LINKS
11:17 Serendipity (movie)
17:27 Life Uncommon (Jewel song)
21:51 12 Days of Creation (future presencing program)
Please share your insights and questions in one of our Soulful Leaders groups:
Get all the latest episodes, news and updates directly to your inbox. Subscribe here. TheSoulfulLeaderPodcast.com
Watch the podcasts on our YouTube Channel: @Soulful Leaders
In a world where achievements and accolades motivate us to do more and be more, we're often left wondering, is this really it?
Stephanie Allen:deep inside, you know, there is more to life, you're ready to leave behind the old push your way through and claim the deeper life that's calling you.
Maren Oslac:That's where we excel. We're your hosts, Stephanie Allen and Maren Oslac.
Stephanie Allen:And this is the soulful leader podcast,
Maren Oslac:sit back and relax as we share the shortcuts we've uncovered to help you make shift happen. Welcome to the soulful leader podcast. This is Maren and I'm here with Stephanie. And we wanted to talk about serendipity today. And, like, what does serendipity have to do with leadership?
Stephanie Allen:What is serendipity anyway, right?
Maren Oslac:That's great question.
Stephanie Allen:who don't already know what it is?
Maren Oslac:What is it? Right? So I for me, so often, I hear leaders dismiss stuff and say, oh, it just wasn't meant to be.
Stephanie Allen:And, or if it's meant to be, it's meant to be, it'll happen, or if- I've heard this one, too. If it's meant to be, it's up to me. And all these, like, they're kind of opposing thoughts, right? Oh, if it's meant to be it's meant to be, it'll just happen. Or if it's meant to be, it's up to me, well, which is true?
Maren Oslac:Right. And that's Yeah, that's exactly it. The opposite of that is, you know, that's all woowoo stuff, and I'm just gonna push through and make things happen. Because that's, you know, it's like, I can't rely on anybody else. It's all on me. That's my job. I'm a leader. Like, yeah, there, there are these two extremes that that I definitely hear. And when I say, when I hear them, it's not just from out there, I hear them the voices in my own head, saying those things to me, right.
Stephanie Allen:Yeah, and I think I've used this analogy before, it's like, if you think of, you think of a musical instrument, let's say a string instrument, and the string is too tight. So we're, we're too anxious about something or trying to make something happen. It's going to break it doesn't make music. Or if we're too loose about the whole thing, like whatever if it's gonna happen, and it also doesn't make music, you need to have that right kind of tension. Just enough, but not too much. And not too little. Just enough. And that's when we talk about- things happen. And so what is that? How do we, how do we bring that into our awareness into our actions into our thoughts into our inner world in our outer world?
Maren Oslac:Yeah. And so bringing that back to what is serendipity? I think that for myself, when I've, in the past when I've thought about serendipity, is kind of like if things just happen by chance. Like, there's there's good luck in the world, and there's bad luck in the world. And when good luck happened happens, Oh, that's serendipitous. That's just wow, what a coincidence.
Stephanie Allen:Yeah, so we misuse the word. So it reminds me of a story of three Princes of Serendip. That's actually where serendipity word came from, is as an old story, and there was a great king that had three wonderful princess that were going to go and take on the kingdom. And so he trained them really, really well, but he wasn't quite sure, you know, he wanted them to have a little bit more worldly experience before they took on leadership's role of being kings. So he set them off into the wilderness and they they get along really well and they thought you know how interesting it would be to be a king and they weren't really fighting over who was going to be the king. They just knew that that was the role of being leaders. So as it were going along, they noticed this man on the on the side of the road who was basically looking for his camel, he'd lost his camel, lost his camel and so one of the princes said, you know, is the camel lame? Yes, yes. My camel is lame! How did you know? And the second prince said you know, is the camel missing a tooth on his right side? Yes, the camel is missing his tooth on his right side. You know, and then he said you know, was the camel carrying honey and yes, the camel was carrying it. You've seen my camel and of course the three princes said no, we haven't seen the camel. Well, you know the this man was like absolutely, you have stolen my camel. How did you know so much about my camel if you haven't stolen it. So he took, takes them, these three princes, these three young men to the local kingdom and wants punishment, immediate punishmen. And so the king says to these three princes, you know, how did you know, if you if you haven't stolen the camera? How do you know this camel so much about it? Well, you know, we paid attention. As we were walking on the road, we noticed that along the path, there was on the right hand side there was, you know, green green grass that was missing chunks, exactly where, about the size of the tooth of a camel. So it looks like the, you know, the camel had been missing a tooth. Then they also noticed that behind you know, in the in the trail there was like this, something being dragged. So they assumed that the camel was lame, and carrying honey, because on one side of the camel that where the honey was going, this is where all the flies were. So they had just basically been paying attention and using their wisdom and their knowledge to drop in and go, what happened there? They're picking up clues. Which really is, serendipity is really looking at doing the inner work of deducting, of creating space to asking the question, what if? and then not running away from it, not, you know, ignoring it, but paying attention.
Maren Oslac:So when you say doing the inner work, maybe explain what you mean by that, because when I when I listen to the story, and I hear, okay, so they were kind of tracking, they were tracking what they noticed. And that's one of the things that I think that we don't often do, we're so busy looking for where we're going and making things happen, that we're not observant of what's going on around us
Stephanie Allen:Exactly. And we're coming from our past. So just like when you say tracking, if you are tracking an animal, in the wild, you're looking for the footprints in the sand, right, you're looking where the broken branches are, where there has been some sort of disturbance, you're trying to find, you're actually in the animal's past. And so when we're looking at leadership, or we're looking at our life, dreams or goals, we're in the past of our future self. And our future self has left signs and wonders for us. So when things show up, we can call it serendipitous. But really, what you're doing is you're starting to pay attention to some of the clues, some of the signs, some of the wonders, so it's that practice of you know, this is kind of, I always say this, this makes people kind of flipped a little a little bit. But when you think of time past, time, present, and future are actually all happening simultaneously. Now you're thinking no way Steph, you know, I was born in, you know, 19, whatever. And I'm, you know, I'm this, this age, this age, in this time, and I'm going to be you know, it's it's, it feels like it's linear, like a flatland, like a ruler. But it's not. And what I, what I do with clients and what I do with myself is that you can go back in time and remember things from your, from your past, but you are remembering them as if you are the observer. This is a good practice, instead of going in and feeling it as if it's happening right now, which is where most people end up doing, they end up reliving their past, over and over and over and over again in their present moment. But if you can go back into your past and look at it as an observer, see yours, like be the fly on the wall kind of thing. And just observe yourself. Now you're in your future of your past. And you're present all simultaneously. So I was just working with someone recently. And, you know, one of the one of the exercises where, you know, and Maren, you and I have just done this recently, too. It's like, if we didn't suffer, I would not have received this benefit, kind of thing. Well, what are the benefits? so, you know, if I didn't suffer a heartbreak or a loss, then I wouldn't have discovered what I wanted and what I didn't want my life, I wouldn't have been able to then build some skill on relationship skills and communication and, and you know, learn how to love myself more. These are benefits. So it's like going back in time. And so what I had with my client doing was going back in time and seeing herself when she was going through the suffering. And I said, be on the wall, be above yourself, be in and how would you how would you see yourself? Oh, she said with great gentleness, great kindness. And I said, Okay, I said so right now because she was suffering in the moment. I said, Can you feel that gentleness and that kindness and it broke her heart she started to cry and I always say tears are liquid love. You know, it's like now the love stream is open. And I said there's also a future you, right now, that you don't know, that you haven't made contact with that is also here right with us right now in this room. And she probably is also very gentle with you right now. And so what would you do? And this is what I ask anybody, because I think we all have that our own unique way. What would you do to create a relationship with a future self that's living a beautiful, extraordinary healthy, happy, whatever kind of life your ideal? And can you have that future self come here now, and can you track? because that future self, when you pay attention to that self, that self of the future will leave you breadcrumbs. But we have to pay attention.
Maren Oslac:And I think that that is the biggest thing for those Princes of Serendip is they paid attention to the breadcrumbs. And it's a practice. So they were practicing in, quote, unquote, the outer world. And you mentioned our inner world, too. And I see that as the example that you gave with your client. How do we practice that both on the outer world and the inner world, because our future self literally does leave us clues
Stephanie Allen:all the time.
Maren Oslac:And so it's interesting, you know, you and I both watched a very old movie, a 2001. Movie. Just last night, actually, I think both of us watched it. It's called Serendipity. And one of the things I highly recommend that, that, that, if you're listening to this, you will really enjoy this movie. And we'll try not to give too much away. And one of the things that I noticed about it is that it kind of starts with this, this, this version of serendipity as if it's meant to be it's meant to be random, it's random, like serendipity is random. And if it happens, if, if this shows up again, then it was meant to be, and that there is no actual work, there's no practice for being a detective and for showing up like that. And then as the movie progresses, you know, time starts to crunch down, and it gets to the point where they have to make a decision. And in making that decision, they start putting effort in.
Stephanie Allen:Yes, and it's the effort. And we tend to think it's the effort in the outer world, and there is effort in the outer world. But most of that effort is internally with your with yourself, your own inner narrative. And working within is actually what creates the outer action, it directs your attention and your effort and your energy, more specifically, and so you're not wasting time and energy. And I'll give you an example. That is like imagination. So in, you know, if we're always looking for information, I mean, we'll find information and everywhere. But what you want to do is have your imaginal, like work with your imagination, I say, if we don't start to hone our attention, the imagination will literally create worst case scenarios. So again, another example, a client fell. And this client was was really upset that she had fallen, and she's like, Oh, my gosh, I'm going backward. I've just worked so, you know, amazingly on my health. And now I've fallen, this is her process, but she had fallen, and I'm going to be worse than I've ever been. I'm going backwards. And you have to challenge that. I'm like, is that true? Like how do you know that's true? And I, you know, we have to challenge it. But her imagination had gone to the worst case scenario. And that that worst case scenario was still playing out, like what if what if, in the way of a drama and catastrophizing and I said, If you don't, if we don't learn how to redirect our attention towards an ideal, then it robs us of the moment of the energy that we have. there's a great song by jewel that says, I no longer lend my strength to that which I wish to be free from. It's such a beautiful line. You know, it's like, so you have infinite potential, but where are we putting it? It's scattered. If we keep going to the worst case scenarios, they're going to you're going to start seeing clues and serendipity around why that's going to be true.
Maren Oslac:Sure.
Stephanie Allen:Versus if you start saying, I want to create or I, this is my ideal, and you don't have to even know what that looks like, feels like, sounds like or anything, but just choosing saying I want an ideal that is loving and kind and whatever you put your qualities in, and then you start saying now I need to train my imagination. To start looking for those clues that are going to lead me towards that. But you got to show up, you got to pay attention. And that's also the practice.
Maren Oslac:And I love that in the movie, you see both the outer work that both of the main characters do, you also see that they have to make an inner decision, several inner decisions. The first one being I'm going to pursue this. The second one being like, I have to make a choice, and is it my ideal, my choice, or am I going to settle? And that that was really powerful when I watched that, to see it from that perspective of how often I think, well, this is, this is what I have right in front of me is really good. What I want is amazing. And I can taste it, and I can see it, and I can smell it and it excites me. But I don't want to give up what I have. So I'm going to, I'm going to keep this for just in case and then I'm going to like kind of put some energy and you're just talking about putting your energy. It's like, now I've split my energy. And it's so apparent in the movie that when they actually both characters had to surrender had to give up the what is good enough, Because they had to make that choice of like, Will I really, Is it fair to me? Is it fair to the other person? Is it, is it what I want, to settle for good enough? Or do I want like the greatness? Do I want what I can really taste and smell? And then when you put your energy there, that's where all of it comes together.
Stephanie Allen:And sometimes we can say this as the comfort zone, too. We can, we can be given the opportunity to taste something really great. And we don't feel like we have earned it, or we don't feel like we're good enough or we don't, we feel like we're an impostor if we go for it. And so that we will then make the choice to turn away from it so that we can stay with what is what's familiar and comfortable. And so I often will say, I'll ask a question, say, Does this whatever this this relationship, this choice, this thought this, you know, food, this whatever, Does this empower me to become better than where I'm at right now? Even if your life is freaking amazing right now. You know, and that's great, you know, but to ask again, you know, the Jewel song of Uncommon Life, you know, it's, we're here to live an uncommon life, we're not here to live mediocrity, or everyday normal, and the world is needing for us to step up and step out not from an anxiety got to do more, because I'm not good enough. I think we come a lot from, I'm not good enough, or I have to fix it kind of mentality. And that's not what I'm saying. It's like, we've been given so much, that we can actually say yes to something even more. And in doing so give back even more. Because even in that movie, as these two individuals, you know, one is John Kuzak, who I love, I always love him. And, you know, and they both have to make a choice. But they both have friends. You know, the other one is a woman that they both have to make choice, but they both enroll their their best friend with them. And I think there's a real key with that, too. We're not here to do, to track on our own. You know, we're here to include each other. And as one person steps up, and you'll see this in the movie, as one person steps up and goes for the dream. It actually inspires the people around you to do the same. Yeah, like it lifts everybody up.
Maren Oslac:Yeah, both of you know, their friends, the two main protagonists, thet each like you said, had a friend that was helping them. And each of those friends was completely inspired and transformed by the journey that they went on together. And it it literally is a practice, the practice of, of being the detective you know that that story about Serendip, of the Princes of Serendip, serendipity was literally describing detective work, a princely talent for for detective work
Stephanie Allen:for being able to engage what's coming in the future. What what is, so you're prepared for it. Like we talked a lot about being prepared for the unknown, and we think of like a squirrel, we're gonna hide all our nuts or something, I don't know, we just our money and our time or whatever. But really, it's the internal preparation, right? Yes, the outer is important too. But if you don't have the internal preparation, you won't take action in the outer, or you won't take the action that will most sustain you or, or or nourish you, in a way, in the outer.
Maren Oslac:Yeah, and I think that that's for me. So Often as a leader, and also just in my life, I do settle for something. Because I haven't made that inner commitment to the higher version or, or what I feel really calling me and it's scary. It can be really scary. And it takes work, step out there, right? So, and it's not that you have to, like, do everything all at once,
Stephanie Allen:or all by yourself,
Maren Oslac:or all by yourself. And that's one of the other things that I loved about that movie is there was a process and you watched both of those characters. And all of the characters, actually, the four of them, go through a process of discovery of self discovery, and choices. And okay, here's what's next. Here's what's next. Here's what's next. Not from a figuring it out perspective, but by literally dropping in. And here's the next breadcrumb. Here's the next breadcrumb. And this is what we we have, spirit is giving us that in our lives. Here's the next breadcrumb. Here's the next breadcrumb, based on what we want. So I love the story that you gave us earlier of one of your clients who's like, when we are focused on the drama and the trauma, we will get breadcrumbs and clues of like, now here's how you can find more of that.
Stephanie Allen:Exactly here's your justification of why, you know, right. And
Maren Oslac:that's, then we think that's what life is full of. And really, it's it's what we are creating because of the internal. That's our internal roadmap. So switching that internal roadmap to, okay, what's the ideal?
Stephanie Allen:Maren, this is so exciting, because it reminds me of what we're going to be doing coming up the end of this year is the 12 days of creation. And we take 12 days between December 25 and January 6 to help. Not that we're trying to figure out or create the following year, but to practice being a detective, to practice being, you know, looking at the signs and the clues that our future self has left for us. So that we are prepared internally to have the most amazing, delightful, celebratory year, one that is only for meaning for us, but also lifts up others around us.
Maren Oslac:And what I love about that is just like the Princes of Serendip, and how there's a lost meaning around serendipity. There are, those 12 days that you're talking about are sacred days. And this is an ancient practice, an ancient practice from the mystics. So you and I have been doing it on our own and then together and then we've done it with a couple of groups. And it just is it just keeps building and growing each year. And we would love for you guys to join us with that. So as a reminder, all the links are in our show notes. So we will link to our 12 days of creation coming up, the great uplift and also to the Serendipity. And Stephanie, maybe one of the things we could do also include the Princes of Serendip the actual parable, isn't it? Is it a parable or fairy tale? Yeah, it's parable fairy tale. Yeah, yeah. So we'll include that too. So make sure you go to the show notes and get all of the information. And we will see you all next week on the soulful leader podcast.
Stephanie Allen:And that wraps up another episode of the soulful leader Podcast with your hosts, Stephanie Allen,
Maren Oslac:and Maren Oslac. Thank you for listening. If you'd like to dive deeper, head over to our website at the soulful leader podcast.com.
Stephanie Allen:Until next time,