Harmony Amidst the Hustle: Unwrapping Inner Peace

This is quite possibly the busiest time of the year. So much to get done. All the end of year wrap up coupled with the frenzy of buying gifts, preparing for guests and doing all the ‘stuff’.

Yet, in nature everything has gone still, gone inward. This sets up an automatic stress on our systems. We're a part of nature and feel called to take time and rest, and society is calling us to be in this outward doing party, making things happen. 

Is there a way to balance these two distinct pulls on our nature? 

In this short, powerful episode, Maren and Stephanie share delightful insights, engaging stories and several empowering exercises to make this holiday season rewarding and gentle - for you and for you teams - whether that’s your business teams, your families, or special friends.

You will want to listen and impediment at least one of the great resources they offer. Let’s join together and make space by taking a pause this season so we can collectively move into 2024 with all the gifts and energy that are ours to claim.

• 00:41 the push and pull of this season - nature goes inward while society pulls us outward
• 02:57 the origin of ‘gifts’ and “My Gifts” Exercise
• 05:42 the 10 MOST important things this holiday
• 10:55 what if you were enough
• 13:13 Maren’s one wish for everyone this holiday
• 15:07 the light is concentrated inside
• 17:44 letting go of the shoulds and making space in the in (inn)

LINKS

19:24 The Great Uplift: 12 Days of Creation

TRANSCRIPT

Watch on YouTube

Please share your insights and questions in one of our Soulful Leaders groups:

Facebook Group

LinkedIn Group

Get all the latest episodes, news and updates directly to your inbox. Subscribe here. TheSoulfulLeaderPodcast.com

Watch the podcasts on our YouTube Channel: @Soulful Leaders

Transcript

Maren Oslac: 0:04

In a world where achievements and accolades motivate us to do more and be more, we're often left wondering, is this really it?

Stephanie Allen: 0:12

deep inside, you know, there is more to life, you're ready to leave behind the old push your way through, and claim the deeper life that's calling you.

Maren Oslac: 0:20

That's where we excel. We're your hosts, Stephanie Allen, and Maren Oslac.

Stephanie Allen: 0:26

And this is the soulful leader podcast,

Maren Oslac: 0:29

sit back and relax as we share the shortcuts we've uncovered to help you make shift happen.

Stephanie Allen: 0:41

Hi, welcome to the soulful leader podcast. This is Stephanie and I'm here with Maren. And this podcast is a special one because I know it is coming in at a time when we're meant to be the most inward this time of the year. And yet it is probably the most busy socializing, trying to get things done, wrap things up, whether it's a present or whether it's the year end, whatever it might be. And then we're mixed with a lot of things of what are we going to do with the holidays? You know, who are we going to spend it with? What are we going to spend, what are we going to eat? Where we're going to go? What are we going to do? This seems to be so many questions, and it can be a great source of joy and inspiration. But it also can bring up a lot of heartbreak and hardships to some things that this should have could have would have ought to's. You know. So this is a special one.

Maren Oslac: 1:39

Just to be clear, in the northern hemisphere, there isn't Stephanie said this is the most inward we're supposed to be and we're speaking to the northern hemisphere at this point. Because the the way that the sun and nature works. This is the inward time of year, it's the Yin part of here, it's the longest day of the longest night of the year. So we have the most darkness. And when you look around on the in the northern hemisphere, we're in that cold time of year where everything kind of the trees pull their SAP back and the all the plants have gone underground, and the animals go into hibernate. So in nature, when we look around ourselves, everything has gone inward. And as Stephanie said, like, we're so torn as as human beings, because we're in this outward party, you know, mode of the holidays, it's become an outward thing, instead of what it used to be, which was a time with family a time to celebrate our gifts, not necessarily to give gifts to celebrate our gifts, like what would that be like to.

Stephanie Allen: 2:57

Oh yeah. And to be to be present to them, to be present and to be present to each other. I think that might be the symbolic reason why we wrap up presents or gifts. And if we look at a deeper level outside of just the materialism, or the physical manifestation of that, it's like what are and there's your question your introspection, right? What are my gifts to give? And what are the gifts that I am receiving from another? And to be present to that.

Maren Oslac: 3:28

Yeah, I love that from the inward place of what are my gifts to give, instead of what stuff do I have to give someone else? And really, that is something that that the marketers have sold sold us.

Stephanie Allen: 3:44

Yeah, we've become consumers instead of citizens, and a community, you know, and this is maybe a time of a great shift to be able to turn inward. And yet I understand how hard that is to all of a sudden stop buying and consuming, because it's been such a perpetual pattern. But to be able to, to then turn inward and going, what really matters right now, what is the most important and not coming from a place of scarcity that I don't have enough to give? Yes, we all do. It's inside of us. It's not in a store. It's not online. It's inside. And have we even intro spectively turned inward to go gee I wonder what that is? What are my gifts? I know there's a great exercise. And I know Maren and I have done this before. A great exercise to ask some of the closest people in your life like friends, family, loved ones, even co workers and just turn to them say what are my gifts? What is it that I bring to our relationship? Or what do you see? Yeah, what do you see me that I don't see? And it's a it's a really wonderful thing. They talk about giving and receiving it's a wonderful thing to to go and ask someone. And I know I did this one time with one of my best friends and I remember her saying, you know, commenting back on, and I'm like, you know, whatever she said, absolutely touched my heart. I had no idea. That's how she saw me. And I almost thought, you know, part of me that my skepticism would say, Oh, you're saying that because you're my best friend. Of course, you're gonna say that. And she goes, No, no, really, Stephanie, you know, this is what I see in you. And, and it actually made me cry, not out of tears of it was almost like I hadn't, I had neglected that in myself, I couldn't even see it. And what a gift that was for her to reflect something that I could not see. And I think that's a it's a wonderful practice. At this time of year, a gift giving, I remember one time, I was in a place in my life where I didn't have a lot of money, and I wasn't able to fly home for Christmas to be with my family. And I had a lot of shame around that. I'm like, Oh, my gosh, I have nothing. And I sat down and I wrote out a Christmas card. And I wrote out the 10 things I love most about you. And I wrote it up for my brother. And I wrote it out for my mom and my dad, and all those I knew would be around the Christmas table that day. And I remember my brother, he was young at that time, I think it might have been like, I don't know, early 20s, maybe maybe late teens. And I remember, you made me cry, and the funny thing is he was like, thanks a lot, Stephanie, you made me cry. And I'm like, I'm glad it opened your heart. Because I like, like my friend who did that my best friend who has said that, to me, I'm like, I wanted you to like to see what I see in you. And I think that's what breaks my heart is, is when I don't see in myself what others do. Or when I don't see like in you, like when you don't see yourself, the way that I can see you, we miss it. And this in a time where we've been isolated from each other for so long. I think now we're starting to integrate and coming back together. And I think it's lovely to have the Christmas parties in the holiday galas and, and the time to actually recognize how great it is to come together and belong, and share and touch and being in the actual physical presence of somebody, and to be able to reflect to them what we love, and what we find beautiful.

Maren Oslac: 7:13

I think that's just spectacular. Those are the types of things where, you know, like, somebody will have that, keep those types of lists in their wallet for years, or, you know, you find somebody's card, you know, like stack of cards that they kept through their whole lifetime that everything else fell away. And those are the things that are most meaningful to us. And I I wonder what it would be like, if, you know, I mean, oftentimes during this time of year, we find ourselves in the go push, gotta get this, gotta get that and, and we find ourselves is often and wondering, did I do enough? Did I get enough gifts that I made the right punch to, you know, like all the stuff, right? Imagine like doing that and feeling exhausted. And somebody hands you a here are the 10 things I'm most love about you list. And it's like thats, so there's so much meaning there. And that's what that is what I love about this time of year is the amount of meaning that that is potentially there. It makes me sad how much it's become a consumer holiday. And I do see

Stephanie Allen: 8:25

what whether that is materialism or food, we tend to do both right, and we get stuffed. And we do I mean, honestly, if you think back in your childhood, a gift, if you can remember all your Christmas gifts that you've been given every Christmas, I would say you might remember one or two that were very special to you. But generally, we don't remember the gifts, the stuff. But what we do is remember the stories, the memories, and those might be good memories. They might be bad memories, you know, hard, difficult memories. And I think that's something to shift. It's like, what if we could make beautiful memories and it didn't have to have anything to do with materialism? Or anything to do with like consuming food?

Maren Oslac: 9:09

Yeah. So just as a quick story, when I was when I was very young, I was probably I was under 10 I want to say I was probably five or six. My grandmother gave me a doll and I was not I was such a tomboy. I played with my brother and his trucks and all of the things and we lived out of state so my grandmother didn't know me very well. And she was so excited for me to open this doll. And I ripped open the doll and I looked at my brother's Tonka truck and I took the doll I threw her on the ground. I stomped on her and I took my brother's Tonka truck in the other room and started playing. My grandmother was horrified, horrified. Right. So you're, you're talking about the stories right? That's what I remember. And here's what I remember is that my grandmother didn't know me well enough. Like she had her idea of who I was and who I should be and like, Oh, little girls love dolls? Well, this little girl didn't. And she didn't know me. And that's, that's what I remember. And imagine, like, what is it like to, to give our gifts from a place of I want to know you, I want to connect to you, I want to be in relationship, especially in these years following COVID, where we did get this, like, isolated from each other. You know, I think that those are spectacular things that, you know, as our listeners, you could play with that this holiday season. And, and of course, once you play with it, report back and let us know how it went. Because they're powerful, they're powerful things to do.

Stephanie Allen: 10:54

I think, you know, asking the question, Why, also, like, you know, why am I feeling like, I'm not enough? Or why am I feeling I have to make this the perfect dinner? Or why, you know, why am I making this? Whatever this is to give to somebody? What does it really mean to me and I? Am I attached to the outcome, or am I, you know, if we could just let go of all of the outer stuff. You know, we have these wonderful, or I love rituals, I absolutely love rituals. And why I love them so, is because it makes memories for me, it builds memories that I take in my heart. And there's a saying, you know, that I've heard from spiritual mysticism that say, you know, when we leave, when we walk on from this life into whatever is meant to walk on, we don't take the materialism with us, we don't take it, we take the memories we take who we've become, in this lifetime. And so if we're not working with, Well, who am I? What am I becoming? What do I, Who do I want to become? Not what do I want to do in my life? But if we're not asking ourselves those questions, and we don't ask those that we are wanting to give to either, who are you? What would you like to become or what would support you? Those are, that's the gift of relationships. That's the gift of connection. And I think, you know, one of my favorite rituals that I had, as a little girl with my grandmother, I was really close with her. And we watched The Sound of Music every single year at Christmastime, it's like, and I still, now I can't watch it without crying all the way through it, but it's not crying, because I'm so sad that we had horrible memories, I'm crying because I miss her so much. And she's right there with me when I watched that, because as she aged, she lost her hearing and she couldn't hear a thing. And this is before the TV had caption underneath it to be able to know what was going on. But we had watched it so many times from the 70s and the 80s. That by the time you know, she was in her 90s and she couldn't hear and it didn't have caption. She still knew every every single word and every song that we could sing together. And to me, that is the greatest gift my grandmother, well was one of the greatest gifts my grandmother and I had to give it was that

Maren Oslac: 13:11

That's so special. And I guess if there's one thing time. that I for myself, and then selfishly for all of you out there would want for this particular holiday season is to go to the deeper level to take the road less traveled. And you know, look inside and ask the bigger questions of what, you know, the stuff that Stephanie was just talking about, the whys behind what why do I feel the need to make sure that everything is perfect? And whatever the answer is, it's not right or wrong or good or bad is not a reason to shame yourself. It's just starting to dive into the inquiry and then maybe take the five closest people to you and write a list like hey, you know what, let's do this this Christmas. Let's write a list for each other of what are the top 10 most powerful things.

Stephanie Allen: 14:17

Oh my gosh. I love that. I love that. Instead of giving gifts in the way of materialism gifts with each other what if we just sent, sat down the five of us and we wrote out the five most beautiful things we see in each other? Yeah, and then you have that and that to be able to reflect on that and even put it up on your wall so when you have those days coming forth in the in 2024 you can go oh my gosh, I have these gifts these like to really claim them, to really receive. because I I believe that's also what the holidays are it's like where there's darkness is always light. That's why we it might be one of the darkest you know the shortest days of the year or now but yet we have the most brilliant lights that are lit up in the towns and in our homes. And, you know, to me that that's there's always the opposites both are there, light and dark are both there.

Maren Oslac: 15:07

The other thing about it being the darkest time of the year, it's like when we go inward, it concentrates the light. And we can see this in nature too. So when a tree pulls its sap back, there's not less sap, it just is concentrated, it pulled back. So now you've got this concentration of light inside you, what a beautiful time to actually take a moment and go inside and explore the light and the beauty and then share that in some words with with somebody, even if it's in addition to you know, it's like, maybe your family isn't ready to, or your friends are not ready to say, you know, to heck with this the material crap. I know, in my life, I don't want anyone to give me any more stuff. I have so much stuff in my life. I I need to like I need to purge personally. And so I would love to hear from people like what is that about me that, that speaks to you that, that brings joy into your heart that makes you want to, you know, step up, or do what's next, or feel inspired? You know? And what a great thing to do with our teams. Like, yeah, that wouldn't that be amazing, instead of buying a bunch of gifts, and maybe it's a both and, maybe buy the gifts, and you also have an exercise that you do together.

Stephanie Allen: 16:36

But I think the most important thing is to do it with love, don't feel like you're, you're already enough. And I think sometimes we don't realize that we have everything that we need inside of us. And that things can actually be so beautiful. By going inward, and sharing that inward place with someone that, you know, we're afraid of emotions to so the tears of the sad, you know, the sadness or the laughter, or both are there, they're all there. And that it's okay, there's space for that. It's funny, because, you know, I mean, metaphorically, the whole teaching story of, you know, Mary, and Jesus didn't have a space to give birth. And that that's a metaphor on a level to have like, where our feminine and our masculine doesn't have space to give birth, which the Christ Child was representative of opening our hearts, that's where the cross comes from, is that you have a vertical line from your toes to your head, and you have a horizontal line with your arms stretched out. And that actually makes the cross. So it's like on a metaphoric level, you know, Mary, and Jesus and Mary, Jesus and Joseph, we're all here to represent the divine feminine and the divine masculine, making space for the integration of the heart. Right, it's very interesting, and bringing it together into the world into the world. And where do we not have space? Because we've taken it up with the shoulda, coulda, woulda ought to's or the isms, that perfectionism? You know, isms or whatever the isms are in your life, you know? What can we do about all that? Yeah, what if we can let all those isms go and drop in.

Maren Oslac: 18:20

I love that you brought that up, because it's not another should. So this time, this time of year, like, let go of all the shoulds. And if this feels like, oh, it's one more thing I should do? Let it go. Just rest inside. Right, it really is about making space and taking, taking a timeout going within and just a being being the the inner womb. So that we can like start to move outward as the new year comes in that type of thing. So

Stephanie Allen: 18:52

And make space for the in. You know, there is no room in the inn. It's like well make space in there, what's taking up space, what's crowded in there. And that's yours, that's yours to discover. And it can be a beautiful house cleaning, so to speak from the internal sense of mind and emotions.

Maren Oslac: 19:13

Yeah. So there are some wonderful ideas, we would love to hear back from you, our soulful leaders, either on LinkedIn or on Facebook. And if you're not yet familiar with our 12 days of creation, speaking of space, it's a great way for you to make space for what's incoming in 2024. It's a completely different way of you're not goal setting for the new year. You're not doing new year's resolutions, it's presencing over the 12 days of Christmas. It's using an ancient mystic way of doing this presencing over the 12 days of Christmas, the incoming next 12 months of the year, and it's really spectacular we've been doing it for a few years. If you'd like to join us, you can find information on our website TSLP.life, or you can find it on Stephanie's website, which is Stephaniejallen.com or my website, which is Marendance.com. And we look forward to seeing you all next year. Or maybe there's one more podcast this year. You'll have to check in tune in to find out. We'll see you all next week on the soulful leader podcast.

Stephanie Allen: 20:38

And that wraps up another episode of the soulful leader podcast with your hosts, Stephanie Allen,

Maren Oslac: 20:44

and Maren Oslac. Thank you for listening. If you'd like to dive deeper, head over to our website at the soulfulleaderpodcast.com.

Stephanie Allen: 20:55

Until next time,