Planning with Your Inner GPS

What is a plan? A way to make God laugh? A way to ensure you won’t fail? 

We have so many contradictory thoughts (and sayings) about planning it makes us wonder, is it important? And is it possible to create a plan that doesn’t come from a figuring, forcing, or fixing place?

This is the rich, and timely topic that Stephanie and Maren discuss in today’s podcast.

So often we set our goals and then get so busy pushing to make something happen, we stop listening to what actually wants to happen, to our guidance. We’re head down, butt up, missing the left turn that would have resulted in an even more beautiful option. Or the focus backfires and we find ourselves in a bad country song - sick, spouse leaving and losing the house. 

There really IS a better way to do goal achievement, and there are very few people who are talking about it. You actually can have your goal, be healthy and keep your spouse and house. It’s just not how you thought it would look.

• 03:55 Setting goals with inspiration, the alternative to my way or the highway
• 05:50 The conversation (around your goals)
• 09:26 Shiny object syndrome
• 13:47 What if I miss my opportunity?
• 18:16 Being unreasonable
• 22:32 Interconnected threads and your Inner GPS

TRANSCRIPT
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Transcript

Maren Oslac: 0:04

In a world where achievements and accolades motivate us to do more and be more, we're often left wondering, is this really it?

Stephanie Allen: 0:12

Deep inside, you know, there is more to life, you're ready to leave behind the old push your way through, and claim the deeper life that's calling you. That's where we excel. We're your hosts, Stephanie Aallen,

Maren Oslac: 0:25

and Maren Oslac.

Stephanie Allen: 0:26

And this is the soulful leader podcast.

Maren Oslac: 0:29

Sit back and relax as we share the shortcuts we've uncovered to help you make shift happen.

Stephanie Allen: 0:41

Hi, welcome to the soulful leader podcast. This is Stephanie and I'm here with Maren. And this is a New Year New Beginning a whole new brand new open slate. And we're going to talk a little, give a different perspective around planning. And these are some of the things that I've heard about planning. And I want to kind of throw them out to you Maren, because, you know, we talk about making plans, I often hear the joke of saying, you know, how to make God laugh, make plans, right, make plans, and then I also hear, you know, plan to fail is failing to plan. So, what is a plan? Why is it important? And how do we do it from not a figuring out forcing fixing place, but to also embrace a space to allow it to happen? Like how do we, how do we kind of merge those two opposites? Like, I'd love to hear from you in your thoughts

Maren Oslac: 1:42

So I think that that's so true. I mean, we have on that. evidence from, you know, huge bodies of work from like Stephen Covey. And like, where, plan, make sure that you're doing, it works, right. If you're planning and you follow through on your plan. It's something that works, it just, there's also a cost to it. Oftentimes, when we're pushing through to make sure that we make something happen, we're not we're no longer listening to what wants to happen. And, for me, I've done that for years, I get that I know how to do that. I also know the costs associated with it, because I feel it in my body, I feel it in my relationships, I, you know, like, what does that mean, for each of you out there, you've all felt those costs as well. And maybe one of those costs I know I've also experienced is where I follow the plan, and it actually doesn't work. It's like, well, crap, that's, that's not what was supposed to happen.

Stephanie Allen: 2:48

There are times when I plan things out, and it totally went sideways, like things happen and the part of me that wants to just like dive right in there with my teeth in it and make it freakin well happen, is painful, not only for me, but all of that, kind of like a tidal wave that kind of pushes everything that's around me out of the way too. And it not only hurts me, it hurts, it hurts a lot of things around me. But at the same time, it's like, how do I let it go and not just kind of give up? Because that's the other end, right? I throw my hands up in the air and goes, why bother? Right? Like, what the hell, like I can't make anything happen. It's costing me all kinds of money all kinds of time, all kinds of energy. And it doesn't work out anyway. Like, to me, that's the other extreme too. So what the heck, like, we know that it's important. And we also know we need to have space to listen to the guidance of what's happening. How do we hold those two with some sort of like, sanity?

Maren Oslac: 3:55

Well, I think what you said right there is holding space for guidance. There are two aspects to that. First of all, I don't think we oftentimes set the goal with guidance. So it's, you know, like we're taught. Yeah, yeah. So one of the things I know I did for years was the BHAGS, which is the big hairy audacious goals, right? Like so then I would, I would just imagine what could be possible. And I set this big, hairy, audacious goal and then I would do the head down, butt up, go, go go. And where was inspiration in that? When I say inspiration, I mean, my conversation with spirit in life. And I didn't set the goal as a co creation, hey, spirit, what about this and then listen for the feedback of spirit's saying, well, what about this? It was my way or the highway and we know we know what happens when we do my way or the highway in relationships. Why we think that our relationship with life is any different from that.

Stephanie Allen: 5:12

That is bang on. Yeah, like, there's no space. When we're in the right or wrong or good or bad. It's like, this is what I'm doing. If you want to be on board, come on, otherwise, I'm leaving you behind. See you later. And we do that with the conversation of life and spirit. It's like, I'm sure Spirit just says, Oh, look at her go. Alright, well just let her go until she crashes, and then she's gonna be hurt. And she's like, why this happened? Can you help me now? It's like, Okay, now we'll pick her up. But I don't think it has to be that hard. I don't. And that's kind of what we're alluding to, is that, how do you create space for that conversation? Like, is there a way that we can do that and still hold on to our vision of the possibilities, but allow space for other possibilities to come in and uplifted or to redirect it?

Maren Oslac: 6:06

That's the second piece for me anyway, is that being once I once I've kind of gotten to that place with spirit and being in that conversation going back and forth with spirit of like, how about this? No, how about that? How about this? How about that? No, we're like, okay, game on. And at that point, it's still being in the conversation. It's showing up every day, to what does that conversation look like? And I know, one of the principles of Stephen Covey is look at your goal every day. I do it, I think about it a little bit differently, and implementing it of like, showing up to my conversation about the goal.

Stephanie Allen: 6:51

Say that again.

Maren Oslac: 6:53

So instead of showing up to my goal every day, because that to me is my way or the highway. And I miss the signs and the some signals and all of the good stuff that life is like, oh, like, oh, did you know you could? And I'm like, nope, this is my goal. I'm showing up to it every day, I'm just doing this one thing, right? Instead of doing it like that, showing up to my conversation about the goal with spirit and with life, because spirit's gonna have, oh, my god, think of the resources that spirit has that I don't have. So if I can stay in that conversation. During the planning and the execution, like the goal setting, the planning, the execution, all of it is a conversation with life, spirit. Now, I have all of the resources. And it's not the, well, I have nothing to do I just hand it over to spirit and Spirit does everything because I have to show up and keep choosing that every day.

Stephanie Allen: 7:57

Because you know that part of like, okay, fine, here you go spirit, if it's meant to be it's meant to be here you go, you make it happen, I'm done. I've had enough. And we kind of say that that's surrender, but that's not really surrender. Surrendering is actually staying present, it's actually staying present in the arms of Your Beloved. And allowing, allowing the kiss to come allowing the Embrace to come but you're actually, it's not only I guess you're kind of, you know, not only accepting it, but you're expecting it. Because you are awake and aware. Instead of just okay, I'm just going to distract myself and go over here. Because I think some some of the listeners might be hearing. Okay, if I'm having a conversation, am I really, am I really staying on path with my, with my goal? Or am I getting distracted with all these other options that the universe is is delivering to me? Like, what about this? And what about that? And go here and do that? Oh, shiny object, you know. And I think there's even another deeper level of paying attention to that. So it's like, being able to rein in the horse. It's like, you're not letting the horse go wild. But you're, you're directing and saying, Hey, I'd like to go here. How we get there is going to unfold as we go. But I know that that's where my destination is, or something better, I will say that or something better. So yeah, that is something better. So I'm open to the possibilities.

Maren Oslac: 9:26

So one of the ways that I've I have learned to keep from the squirrel, shiny object, go this way, which I am, I tend to be a very creative person. And so there are lots of shiny objects. I'm like, Oh, I can do this. I can do that. And it's a little bit harder for me to like sit my butt down and keep on one path because I'm always like, new idea. New idea, right. So one of the ways that I have I learned to work with my, oh new shiny object, while also staying in the conversation to achieve what I want to achieve, is I never take something as a one off, if I have a brand new idea, great, it goes in a notebook. It goes on a post it note, it goes someplace that I don't like jump in and start new action on it. It may be an idea for me, maybe an idea for somebody else, it may be another idea for another time, I don't know. And what I've done in the past is I've run after each of those. And then I'm, all my energy is going in 20 different directions on 20 different ideas, and then I get frustrated. Oh, imagine that. So I put it on a post it note and I watch for things to align with that idea. As they align, they come into alignment, right, as they align, I just put more post it notes up there.

Stephanie Allen: 11:08

I see this post it notes almost like a parking lot. Yeah, like, Okay, we're on this road towards this, you know, here's the map, you know, you get AAA gives you the map of like, here's your destination, here's how you went. And it isn't about the destination, by the way, I think we get really hung up on the destination of how it has to look. Because it could actually be better, you may be holding a lower version of what's possible for yourself. And so to be able to be open to the possibility that it actually could be even more grand, more beautiful, more diverse than you could ever imagine. And so here you have the triple A map. And all these ideas. I'm like, the one I'm hearing you is like, oh, okay, here comes shiny object shiny object, something else, Oh, those two match up, but we put them in a parking lot. Yeah, until there's a lot of the similar things that are kind of coming together, then you say, oh, that might be the new road to take follow this direction.

Maren Oslac: 12:05

There will be an action that's indicated as things align there with like, there'll be chunks, that kind of form, like you said, like enough of the material comes together a chunk forms, and then there will be an action indicated. And that action might be to hand it off to somebody else. Or like, okay, you know, in, say, as an example, my destination is that I want to work on my speaking for next year. And I have this really good idea of writing a book. Ooh, right. So now I have two things that could really pull me in kind of similar directions, but they're like, which do I work on? Where do I put my energy?

Stephanie Allen: 12:44

Not pull you off the road, too

Maren Oslac: 12:46

Not pull me off the road, right? And then somebody wants to me to run a chapter of something. Now I have a third idea, right? Oh, that would be good. That might be good, because then I could write and I have all the justifications. And I like Oh, because Oh, because here's how it could work. Those are all great. And they may be suggestions from spirit. And they may be distractions from my lower self, or from shadow or something that's not meant to be right now. So as I put my post it notes up, there will be some sort of an action that's indicated, to help me to explore it to say, Hey, is that right or not right? And so I won't take an action on any of those until there is an action that's actually indicated. And how do I know that because I'm in an ongoing daily conversation, with my goal, with spirit with all of life, listening for those things, I'm actively listening for those things.

Stephanie Allen: 13:47

Because I think we become reactive, we think, Oh, my gosh, I might not get another sign. If I don't take this opportunity now, it won't come to me again. So there can be that scarcity of possibilities. It's like, I'll just, I'll miss the boat on this one, I gotta jump on it. And yet that boat has a hole in it. And it's sinking.

Maren Oslac: 14:05

And that's, you know, marketing today, that is all of marketing, right? You're gonna miss out if you don't do it now, you're gonna miss out and it frustrates me because I want you all to think about how many programs you've purchased that just sit there that you haven't done because you're afraid of missing out and it wasn't right time, right place. And what if you didn't have to spend your time and then your money and then now you have lifeforce that's going towards that program from guilt, from shame, from I should, from all of the lower energies. That's like, oh, I bought that I should do something with it. Yeah. And you've got this like line that's hooked into you like and what if we didn't have to do that? there's a, there is a way of goal setting and planning, so that you don't have to get hooked in so that somebody could be standing in front of you with the most amazing deal of the century. And you're like, uh, it's not for me, thanks so much. You know, that's what I would I would wish for everybody, because then we could look at the marketers and say, thanks, that is an amazing deal. And it is, or it isn't for me right now, instead of that, getting hooked in on the fear of missing out of like, this is the most amazing thing for the rest of your life. Well, is it?

Stephanie Allen: 15:34

I have a practice that I do with it too, because I'm easily, I'm so afraid of missing out like I, you know, I just want to belong, I want to be part of the part of the in crowd and all those kind of things that I know that about myself. So I actually temper it going, okay, which part of me is wanting to jump on board of this? Is this the part of myself that wants to just belong to something and because I feel left out, or I feel like I'm missing out? Or is it really from my true self that says this is right time? I had such an interesting situation of that yesterday, you know, one of my organizations, that I'm a member of had this wonderful opportunity, fear of missing out, you know, buy now within the next 24 hours, and you get it at such a super super deal. Like, you've always wanted to go to there, I've always wanted to do that it was, you know, down in Costa Rica. And I'm like, I literally all, I had I filled absolutely everything out. Everything out, all I had to do is hit enter and it would have taken me and I heard stop. And I go what am I, what am I doing? Like it's saving me, not this huge amount of money. But I'm like, wait a minute. Is this even the right, I asked another question, is this really the right thing for me, for my goals, my intentions? Is it going to bring me closer or further away? I mean, we could do all the rationalization, but but I'm like, wait, this is just a random thing I haven't, I had, if I look at my parking lot, where I've been putting things in, none of that nothing in that parking lot is saying go to this. Right. So instead of me quickly responding and jumping on it, it goes on my sticky note, and now it goes into my parking lot. Yeah. And I'll say if, you know not if, it's kind of like challenging the universe, right? And you're like, well, if this was meant to be, everything will show up, it's like no, I'm not going to say that I'm just gonna put it in my parking lot. And things will show up either for it, or in a something other area. But I guess we so get reactive at a scarcity. So get reactive of thinking that someone's going to leave us or the door is going to be shut. And we won't have that opportunity again. I often will say put the end in mind, you know, whether it's the end of next week, the end of the year or the end of your life. You know, when you look at the bigger picture it's like, is this really something that would help me? Or is this really, is this? Because sometimes it is. Sometimes it is, and sometimes, and who's it coming from? Is it coming from my need in a fear based place? Or is it coming from a very gentle loving, kind universe?

Maren Oslac: 18:16

I love that. Because, you know when when we have those things where we get so excited about it. Oh my god, I've always wanted to go to Costa Rica. And I always wanted to, like and this is my one opportunity to do that. So questioning, first of all, do you really think it is your one opportunity? And then looking at does it align with other things in the parking lot of, or is it just a one off? Because if it's a one off, the way I look at those is there's, especially when I get super excited. I'm like, Oh, my God. So there's something that is calling in me like I really want that. I really want that. What about it, do I really want?

Stephanie Allen: 19:05

Good question

Maren Oslac: 19:06

What about it? Because Spirit, it is something from spirit. Spirit's like, Hey, how about this? And I'm like, Okay, well, it doesn't align with anything else you've given me and it's so like, Oh, my God, I want that.

Stephanie Allen: 19:21

And sometimes it's not even reasonable. Talk about that, because I think that is so powerful, the reasonable and unreasonable because we're trying to be, you know, logical and realistic.

Maren Oslac: 19:33

Right. And really, when things are aligning, it's not about the logic and reason of it. It's being present to what's, what's aligning, and sometimes the most obscure, obscure things align, and you're like, I don't know why I'm supposed to be there. Right? I have no idea. But like, obviously, I'm meant to do something right here. So we haven't talked about that side of things we've talked about like well you know, maybe don't jump on the first time, right. But there are some things where you're like, really, just recently, I took a trip to Colorado, which was out of the blue. It was, I had an opportunity to go to Colorado, it was a week before, it's like the week before the trip. And I had this opportunity to go, and everything aligned. And I was like, I have no idea why I'm supposed to be there. I just know that I'm supposed to be there. And everything was like it aligned with other things that were in my parking lot. So I recently heard Carolyn Myss talks about being unreasonable. And what she was saying is that we are, we're trained in our society, we are a reasonable society. Going back to there was a debate between Plato and Aristotle of what is the foundation of our society? What will it be going forward? Will it be based on virtue? Will it be based on love? Will it be based on, and what they came to was, it would be based on reason. The Socratic method, right? And we really do live in a reasonable society, we reasoned through things. And when we look at, we're always looking for the reason for something well, my back went out because I went to the gym, or I didn't go to the gym, or because I'm thinking these thoughts, or I'm not thinking these thoughts, we always are looking for I have indigestion because I ate that hotdog, because I didn't eat like, whatever it is.

Stephanie Allen: 21:41

A reason.

Maren Oslac: 21:43

Right. And when we're looking at goal setting and planning, it's like, well, I have this goal, because it's a reasonable thing, right? There's always a reason behind it. And one of the things she said, which kind of hit me right behind between the eyes is that we actually have no idea what the reason is for things. Think about the size of the universe, and how many layers and how complex it is. And we're going to pick one little thread out of that and say, Oh, that's the reason. Really? maybe there's, could you talk about the, the fascia and like the sheath analogy that you use.

Stephanie Allen: 22:32

So I often will use this, it's called, the word in architecture is called tensegrity. Meaning if you put pressure in one area of a structure, it literally affects the whole. So in fascial, when there's pain in the body, you may have a pain in the shoulder. And so often, we kind of reasonably say, well, the pain's in the shoulder, let's go to the shoulder, instead of really looking at the bigger picture, and all the interconnections are playing on the shoulder. So what I'll do, as an example is I will take my massage table, and I'll have a sheet on top of the massage table. And in the middle of that sheet, I'll grab it, and I'll twist it. So I'm picking it up, and I'm twisting it and it'll create like, little striations out to the corners. And you can see that. and how that relates is that that's how our system, our fascial system are interconnected systems, or the internet, we have an internet. In our mind, we have an intranet in our body, we have an intranet on multiple levels. And when something inter inter connects into it and torques it, that's all of us, it creates a ripple effect, it creates a pull in the system. And if you happen to be on that pull, you're gonna get pulled with it. And so the shoulder, coming back to the shoulder pain, when you twist that it, you know, if I took my shirt, and I twist it, it pulls in that shoulder, but the shoulder is affected, but it's not coming from the shoulder, the shoulder is the result of the greater pull, so to speak. And this is how the tapestry of our lives all weave in and out with each other. It's like we're all dancing together. I mean, I've seen this before, it's like, you know, someone cancels. So they cancel, they don't show up and you think, Oh, it's just one person. No big deal, just one person. But that is a ripple effect. Let me tell you, because now it's like, okay, now I have a spare space in my day, of where I was, I had a commitment to work with somebody. And now I've got to find somebody else on my waiting list, which now they're going to have to change their work plans and patterns, which is going to affect a whole group of people, whether it's their family, or their office, or whatever they're doing, which is going to affect so on and so on and so on. We literally just pulled a thread and created everything. We have no idea, no idea, the ripple effects. and now, I can say that and we're not making it good, bad, right or wrong. But in such a beautiful ways that we can say we make so much difference. We have no idea, the elegance and the most possibility that we are doing just by choosing something as more aligned with our plan, our goals and spirit's plan for us. Because when we make it a co-create, co creative experience. Now we're all dancing together and the weaving of souls and events and systems and aha moments, beautiful moments are going to start lining up and coming in and lighting up that you can start to put in your parking lot. And then there's this incredible picture that starts to form that gives you the direction that's beyond you're figuring it out.

Maren Oslac: 25:30

And the other thing about that is like, when I am not in conversation with spirit, and I have my goal, I don't, I don't I'm not aware of all of those things that it torques and that it changes and that like, right. And so this is where it going back to the reasonable and unreasonable we think we're being reasonable. Because we can find our reasons. We actually don't know the reasons. And so if we can get past that and start thinking bigger of like, I actually don't know the reasons. And so I'm going to track what's going on out there. Right then, then I can be in this conversation. That's what allows me to be in the conversation with life is letting go of the ego like I know the reason. I know the reason.

Stephanie Allen: 26:23

So I love it. Building your guidance building the inner GPS.

Maren Oslac: 26:28

Yeah. I think that there's a lot more that we can play with with this. And I would love to do some more of that this this coming week since we're in January. And it's this, that's our, its our planning time, right? This is, we're all in that that go getter mode. So let's continue this conversation next week, here on the soulful leader podcast and remember, you can find us on YouTube, on LinkedIn and on Facebook. So join our conversation. Thanks so much.

Stephanie Allen: 27:09

And that wraps up another episode of the soulful leader podcast with your host, Stephanie Allen,

Maren Oslac: 27:15

and Maren Oslac. Thank you for listening. If you'd like to dive deeper, head over to our website at thesoulfulleaderpodcast.com.

Stephanie Allen: 27:26

Until next time,