The Soulful Leader Podcast
The Soulful Leader Podcast
Mindset Shifts to Transform Your Business
You’re pedaling away in your business and a car goes by at top speed, you pedal faster not knowing how to switch vehicles.
Like does attract like, so your life of pedaling attracts more of the same, gurus teaching how to pedal more efficiently, partners, employees and friends, all working hard and pedaling away.
All this work means you are not in the right place to hear, see or feel all the clues and help to get you into that car, the dream life you know is possible. All that incoming data will just pass you right on by - whether it's the right employee, the perfect job, the relationship that’s not toxic, whatever's next, whatever that car is that you're pedaling so hard to keep up with.
Today Maren and Stephanie share a few ways they’ve switched mindsets to allow them to step up and change vehicles in their own businesses. The key is intentionally designing vehicle changes into your life AND building the skills to embrace a completely new way - welcoming the unknown, asking for help and being in the lifelong conversation about your unique road less traveled.
This is the path of the soulful leader.
- 05:08 Wellness is designing your life
- 07:06 getting off the bicycle
- 08:01 beyond scarcity
- 11:39 if you could have figured it out, you would have
- 15:03 transcending hostile environments
- 17:39 the on-going conversation
LINKS
Article Mentioned @ 1:44: Creating a Culture of Courage - “Hire the person, not the job” ~ Daniel Goodenough
Please share your insights and questions in one of our Soulful Leaders groups:
Get all the latest episodes, news and updates directly to your inbox. Subscribe here. TheSoulfulLeaderPodcast.com
Watch the podcasts on our YouTube Channel: @Soulful Leaders
In a world where we have everything and it's still not enough, we're often left wondering, is this really it?
Maren Oslac:Deep inside, you know, there's more to life, you're ready to leave behind the old push your way through and claim the deeper, more meaningful life that's calling you.
Stephanie Allen:That is what we invite you to explore with us.
Maren Oslac:We're your hosts,
Stephanie Allen:Stephanie Allen and
Maren Oslac:Maren Oslac. And this is the Soulful Leader podcast.
Stephanie Allen:Yay!
Maren Oslac:Welcome back to the soulful leader Podcast. I'm Maren, I'm here with Stephanie. And this week, I had a client that was asking me about the hiring process. And I realized that I have a very different thought process about the hiring, hiring a person to help whether it's a subcontractor or a full time person, or even just somebody that you know, you're trading with. And my thought process is that I start where everybody starts of, what is it that I need? And then I want to find out what the people I'm interviewing need? Where is their strengths? What do they want out of life? And what is it that they feel like they can do? And then I find the connection between those two places. Part of the reason that this is coming up is not just because I was talking to my client about it, but also because I just read an article by one of our teachers, Daniel Goodenough, and he writes in there, to hire the person, not the job. And essentially, he's talking about that same thing of what is that person's deepest sense of purpose, because if you can cultivate their deepest intention, and these are his words, cultivating an employee's deepest intention, will in turn result in them bringing new possibilities to the company. And he talks about Steve Jobs who had said, that it doesn't make sense to hire smart people and tell them what to do. We hire smart people, so they can tell us what to do. And so what I wanted to talk about today is where do we find that, that place where, where things overlap, instead of here's what I need, I'm going to tell you what I need and tell you how to do it. And I'm going to hire you based on what I need. Or what do you need, and we pay attention to what you need. There's this place where those two things intersect. And I think that, that, if we can do that, as leaders, we will have amazing teams.
Stephanie Allen:You know, it's interesting, because there's so much about recruitment, recruiting new people recruiting, you know, getting someone to fill the job. And what I'm hearing you say is like, it's really like reversing that whole paradigm. And I'm just reflecting as you're saying this, uh, you know, my best practices, or my best people that I've worked with are the ones who actually found me, I didn't go looking for them. And one was, was years ago. And she was a young woman out of school, didn't have didn't have any experience. Actually, she was right out of school. Like she had done research about all the local businesses in the area, and she had interviewed them to see if it was a good fit for her. And I thought that was pretty interesting. And so when she came to me and I said, well, why are you coming to me? What is it? She had done her research on me and the company. And she said, this is why I want to come to you. I believe what you believe. This is where I can offer help and support and she literally created her own job. And do you know that wonderful being was with me for like seven years, and she was outstanding until she had to move away. And then I had another client or another client wasn't a client, it was actually doing a professional speaking engagement. And in part of what I do when I do engagements is sometimes I asked for volunteers. And I have this volunteer raise his hand and he was very gracious, very flamboyant and I'm like, Okay, this is either going to be a hot mess or hilariously funny, so I'm just gonna go with hilariously funny. He was just so engaging and we had such a good connection on stage. A short time afterwards, I got a call saying that he had wanted to do a work placement with me. Now this being is an interior designer, and I have a wellness clinic. Now. Now I say that it's kind of funny now that I say that it's like, you know, because even though I say wellness clinic, but I work with the interior aspects of somebody. Hmm, so it's, it's like...
Maren Oslac:...yeah, designing right, design, redesigning their lives.
Stephanie Allen:I just kind of got an AHA with that one. But what was funny is that I said, I have no idea where you would even fit in this company. And he was like, look, doesn't matter, I, you've got me for free for a month, like, you know, let me just kind of hang out with you and I am kind of chatty and I can make suggestions. And, and I'm just saying that that was five years ago. And he's been with me ever since I completely, I don't know, now I have no idea what I would even do without him. He created such an amazing job for himself. And I don't even say that he's an employee or has a job, I would say we collaborate together because he, he so knows, we dance well together, because he knows my style and how to work with me and how to what I need before I even know that I need it. And that's his gift. And I just keep saying every single day I go home from work. I'm like, thank you so much for being in my life, because I didn't realize that I needed something. You know, if you ever had that experience, like, you don't know that you need something until it's given to you. Yes. And you're like, what is that? And then you're like, how did I ever live without this, like, after you have it for a while I'm like, I don't know how I ever lived without it. But I think that's what we're talking about here is like, sometimes you have to really let go of your old way of being. Because it's actually limiting you as to what is meant to come into your future. You do this in every area of your life like I can, I can probably see that in my relationships and my health and in lots of different things of like, things show up before I need it, and I push it away.
Maren Oslac:It's so interesting. There's an analogy that you and I have talked about in the past where it's like we're riding say, for example, we're riding a bicycle, and we're going top speed in our bicycle, right, and a car zooms by. And we're like, I just need to pedal faster, I just need to pedal faster, it's like, we're so stuck in the way that we do something that we literally, you know, like we can't get out of it, we're just like, harder, faster, better, go, go, go go go is that of changing vehicles, and we don't know what it's like to be in a car, it's a completely different mindset. You can't pedal your car, unless you're the Flintstones. And you know, it's right. But if you want to get to that next level, whether it's hiring somebody, whether it's getting from, you know, 50,000 to $500,000, whether it's getting a new relationship, whatever it is, there is a, "I can't use what got me here, to get me there" You have to do something in the unknown, you have to literally design from the inside out your new, your next and be willing to let go of the bicycle of the old way. And that's what I found from my own hiring practices. When I was looking for people, I know there's the traditional hiring practices, right. And I read all of those, and I was like, this is not working for me. So one of the things that I had everybody who applied... the only people... one of the things if you've ever put a job description out there, you know, you get literally hundreds, if not 1000's and 1000's of responses. And then it's on you to go through them all. And so one of the things that I had done was, I said that in order for your resume to actually even be looked at, you had to submit a hand written cover letter that explained why you were a good fit for the job. And so I got to know a little bit about them. I got to know if they followed instructions or not. And I would, instead of getting hundreds that I had to go through, I would still get hundreds and people wouldn't include the handwritten, you know, cover letter. But the three people that were with me the longest had these beautiful cover letters that like you'd, you know, you had with your people, where they told me about what they wanted in their lives. And then we found that, that mutual place where it's like, Okay, here's what you want in your life, and here's what I need in my business. And so let's bring those together and what can we co-create and it was just such a beautiful relationship. And it kept me from having to read 500 resumes, you know.
Stephanie Allen:Well in this time now Maren, like we're kind of in a scarcity. Now we've kind of gone the other way of like, Gee, you know, I need some help here. Where do I find people? Like, where do I even attract people or find the right things? And, and, I mean, I don't, I think scarcity is a kind of a harsh word. And rather than really getting clear, and that, I mean, this is like an old way, it was like, get clear about what you want. But sometimes we don't know what we want, or we don't know what we need. And it's almost even going to another whole new paradigm and have an operating system of like saying, okay, these are my dreams, these are my ideals. This is why I do what I do. You know, what wants to happen? And then doing your own due diligence, meaning, you know, take care of what you can take care of, I use this whole thing with the illness and wellness idea, right? If it's just me all by myself, well, that works to a point until it doesn't.
Maren Oslac:And that's the I...
Stephanie Allen:That's the I in illness. Yeah. And then I need to go to a "We", which is asking for help, and actually allowing it in, because sometimes you don't think you need help, just like
Maren Oslac:and that's, that's the we, in wellness
Stephanie Allen:that's the we in Wellness.
Maren Oslac:So if you look at the two words, they're identical, except for one starts with an I, and one starts with a We, isn't that interesting?
Stephanie Allen:Yeah, and I, you know, we're in that, that world where we have to figure everything out, and we have to like, Oh, my God, if you could have figured out the type of person that was going to help you get where you wanted to go, you would have written the job description, and you would have the right person, right? Guess what, it's not working. We either can't find the people or, you know, people think, yeah, I fit that. And they still don't. Or it's just, it's just a struggle in relationship, right? Versus going Oh.... so I'm just like, making this aha, my own moment of like, getting more clear about what is important and why that's important to me. And then simply allowing. That's a hard thing to do, to allow, and surrender. And know that my old patterns of behavior from my past are not going to create my future. They're not. Maybe they created my present. But I'm already here now. Where I want to go, I don't have I don't have the operating system about where I want to go, because I haven't been there yet.
Maren Oslac:And this is not knowing how to drive a car when you're pedaling your bicycle, trying to figure out how do I get to be as fast as that car does pedaling my bicycle? You can't. You have to let go. And you won't be able to figure out how, how to drive a car, you actually have to learn how and be in that process of surrender of like, okay, I'm in beginner's mind. I don't know, I don't know anything about this.
Stephanie Allen:And you need to get an instructor you need to ask for help so that someone can sit there and actually go, Mmm, no, that's you gotta take your foot off the gas a little bit or, you know, slow down, or you're gonna take that corner too fast, or they're gonna give you feedback.
Maren Oslac:I think this is one of the hardest things for leaders to do, because of something that we talked about last season, which is, as leaders, we're expected to know everything and do everything. Right. The whole you, Stephanie has this wonderful analogy."Shame, should have already mastered everything".
Stephanie Allen:And it goes right along with EGO. Edging Good Out. Yeah. So it's like pushing it away. Get out of your ego.
Maren Oslac:You know, as a leader, one of the attributes of a soulful leader is being able to say, I don't know. And just like that, quote, from Steve Jobs, we hire smart people, for them to tell us what to do. Like that's an awesome leader.
Stephanie Allen:Well, it becomes a collaboration rather than an authoritarian my way or the highway kind of model of management, which is exactly what that means, managing. It's a very old paradigm. And we talk about company culture, or I mean, you talking about anything, whether it's health, you need an environment, that's going to set up for healing, if you want health. You can't keep going into a hostile environment and accept that your body, it's going to be harder for it to heal and to get better. It's the same idea is like if you want to have good relationships, find people around you that model good relationships. You keep hanging out with people who are hot messes, you're gonna, you're gonna, like, you're gonna end up there, too.
Maren Oslac:I just want to also point out well, you know, when you say when you go into a hostile environment, and often times we think of that in the outer world. And yes, that's true. Right?And if you're going to a job, that's, hey, you know what, it's not hostile at the job. And it's something that you're not in love with, and you put up with it every day. That's a hostile environment inside your own body.
Stephanie Allen:That is so key right there
Maren Oslac:Because you're creating that.
Stephanie Allen:Yeah and that's what you have control over is that internal environment, right? So what are you telling yourself? What are you ignoring? Because sometimes that internal is saying, Hey, man, I don't think this is the right relationship or place, or I shouldn't be here. I don't like this. And we just keep shoving it aside, shoving it aside. It's not about reacting to it all the time to it's like maybe sitting down with that voice or that part of you and say, so tell me more, what makes you think this isn't a good environment? Right? You know, am I off my values? Or am I off, like, what is it? Or is this just old patterns coming up from my past? And this is a childlike part of myself, that's afraid that needs some consoling? Or is it really my inner guidance saying, uh, no, you need to move? This is not where we need to be. And so that takes practice, it takes time. And it's so key, because when you can change that internally, it really does transcends the external. I was saying this morning to somebody I said, you know, we're not solar powered. Meaning that when the sun goes away, and the outside light in the world goes away, doesn't mean that you get turned off, you have an internal generator inside yourself that can light you up in the darkest of times. Tap into that. And, and that when you tap into that, you'll actually... remember those old bug lights that used to hang out on your back porch, and the bugs will be attracted to the light, and they get zapped. But it's like, I think there's a positive way of that, too. It's like, it's like when you turn on that internal light, you could actually start attracting environments and people and possibilities and opportunities that actually support you, and you didn't even know that you needed.
Maren Oslac:And that is turning on that internal why of getting so clear on it. And I just need to say this. That's not a one and done. I think that we're so misinformed about that. I work with this every day. My teacher works with this every day. You know, Stephanie works with this every day, we're constantly refining and looking at our why and deepening it and being in conversation with it. And the weekend workshops that are like you'll know, your life's mission in, you know, in three days. They kind of make me crazy, because you'll scratch the surface. And it's an ongoing conversation.
Stephanie Allen:And wouldn't it be great to actually say, you know, after this weekend, you're going to have more questions than you ever had before. Yes, exactly. Because really, it's about we need to start learning how to be in the question, in the unknown. Allow the answer to find us. Like I was saying anything that's ever been good for me in my life has found me, I haven't found it. It came to me, but I had to be present and practicing enough to be present enough to recognize it when it shows up, that I would go... Oh, this, this could be good for me.
Maren Oslac:So like does attract like, and if you're not in the right place to hear it, see it, feel it, be it it will just pass you right on by. You know, whether it's an employee, whether it's a the right job for you, whether it's a relationship, whether it's whatever's next, whatever that car is that you're pedaling so hard to keep up with.
Stephanie Allen:Yeah, so this operating system as you're relating it to the vehicles is like we have to shift vehicles or shift the way we operate. Yeah, we can't just keep pedaling. Now we need to learn like what would be another way? You always hear these these marketing saying, you know, work less, make more, you know, it's like, what the heck does that mean? That doesn't make sense. It's like counterproductive. You know, I have this this client of mine years ago when I very first started doing bodywork, and he had quite a successful business and he was always saying to me because you know Steph, the more time you to take to look inside and slow down and take time for you, the more time and money you're going to have. I'm like, that doesn't make sense. Are you telling me that the more days off each month I take, the more money I'll have that to have, that just doesn't make sense to me. So try it, just do it as an experiment. He said, Because you teach people how to show up to you. So if you start practicing that internal dialogue that we were just saying, it's like, if you start talking to yourself differently internally, then you will actually allow other people to talk to you that way. And if you stop talking to yourself negatively inside and harshly, you actually won't tolerate someone outside of you talking that way. And I don't mean, don't tolerate it. It's like, it doesn't mean you didn't have to fight with them. You just go, oh, well, that's about them. I don't have that inside of me. You know, so you don't take it personally, is what he was saying. And he said, also, when you show up, and you make time for you, you tell other people that you're worth making time for. Now, that was like 30 plus years ago, he told me that. I should actually write a book and give him credit for that. Because I'll tell you, he gave me so many tips. I kept saying I'm like, I should be paying you half the time. But I think he was an angel sent to me at the very beginning of my career of like, trying to make it out there and making it on my own and how he was saying, like, I was riding that bicycle as fast as I could. And he's like, no shift into a car, right? Or move into a helicopter or like, see bigger, bigger, bigger, and every time you're going to reach that maximum. There's another vehicle that you have to let go of the old one to go to the new one. And that can feel scary, because it's the unknown again, but start to train yourself to be comfortable in the not knowing and also train yourself to be still and open in the not knowing so the answer can find you.
Maren Oslac:I love that. I think that's a great place to wrap up today. Thank you so much for this conversation. I really enjoyed it today, Stephanie. Not that I don't enjoy it other days. (laughter) That sounded bad, but oh well. So if you'd like to find us on social media, you can find us at the soulful leaders and you can always visit our website, thesoulfulleaderpodcast.com And we will see you all next week on the Soulful Leader podcast.
Stephanie Allen:And that wraps up another episode of the Soulful Leader podcast with your hosts, Stephanie Allen
Maren Oslac:and Maren Oslac. Thank you for listening. If you'd like to dive deeper, head over to our website at the thesoulfulleaderpodcast.com and tslp.life/
Stephanie Allen:Until next time...