The Soulful Leader Podcast
The Soulful Leader Podcast
Why Are You Here?
For what purpose were you born in this time?
In this place?
With these people?
In this situation?
There is a reason.
“For every single problem, there is a solution right next to it. And those solutions are us.” - Maren Oslac
Life is more than meeting, or even exceeding, societal expectations. Ask anyone who has climbed that ladder. As leaders, we often feel pressured into doing all the ‘right’ things and checking off the boxes. And we lose ourselves in the process. Meaning is what we really seek and that is found in discovering, and doing, our life’s mission.
Today’s episode touches something deep inside that’s been calling to us. Maren and Stephanie are articulate and bring both hope and joy to what could be scary, anxiety inducing subject matter.
You’ll want to share this with those around you, leaders or not.
- 00:32 We are the ones we’ve been waiting for
- 02:52 Overwhelm. Anxiety. Now what?
- 06:25 We’re in it together
- 09:44 It’s not a check-box, it’s a conversation
- 12:07 Getting over “I’ve arrived”
- 18:25 The power is in the small things
- 20:12 What if there’s something else?
- 22:47 Your assignment is going to change you
- 25:15 Where do you start?
LINKS
26:12 Book - Caravan of Remembering
26:18 Corporations - HuPerson Project
26:34 Small Business, Solopreneurs - The Soulful Leader Project
Please share your insights and questions in one of our Soulful Leaders groups:
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In a world where we have everything and it's still not enough, we're often left wondering, is this really it?
Maren Oslac:Deep inside, you know, there's more to life, you're ready to leave behind the old push your way through and claim the deeper, more meaningful life that's calling you.
Stephanie Allen:That's what we invite you to explore with us. We're your hosts, Stephanie Allen and
Maren Oslac:Maren Oslac. And this is The Soulful Leader Podcast.
Stephanie Allen:Yay!
Maren Oslac:Welcome back to The Soulful Leader Podcast. This is Maren and I'm here with Stephanie. Earlier this week, I was able to do a talk with a bunch of women, or for a bunch of women. And one of the things we ended up talking about was this idea of life mission like that we're all here on the planet for a reason, which is this, it's an esoteric conversation, or at least it has been. And one of the things that Stephanie and I have talked about is the fact that it's no longer this out there, like I have the luxury to think about the why that I'm on the planet. It's become critical that we know why each of us is here on the planet. And one of the things that just before we came on Stephanie and I were talking about is the fact that for every era, there are problems, there are issues that are going on in that era. And the thing is, that for every single problem, there is a solution right next to it. And those solutions are us. The Hopi's have a saying that, you know, we are the ones we've been waiting for. And what happens is because we are not showing up to why we're here - we're showing up to what society tells us to do and all of the the goodies that are out there, which are all wonderful, and nothing's wrong with that - it just is that we also need to be aware of why we're here. Because otherwise what happens is, we don't do what we're here for, which means the problems don't get solved, which means we pass them on to the next generation. And this is where we are right now. Generations and generations and generations of issues that haven't been solved to the point where we're at a critical point in our history. And there's a reason that each of us has chosen to be on this planet at this time.
Stephanie Allen:You know, we're no longer in that place where you know, you go to school, you graduate, you get married, you have children, you get a good job, those kinds of things. We're here for more. And that can be very much overwhelming. And I think that's why there's so many young people, and not just young people, many generations, but that are experiencing anxiety, and hopelessness because they're thinking, like, now what? What do I do? I don't understand... whether it's getting out of high school and going on to your next stage or you're retiring, or you've left, you know, your children have left the nest, so to speak, and you're thinking, well, now what? Like there's more life in me to give, there's more things to learn and grow and experience, but I don't even know where to begin.
Maren Oslac:Yeah, I think that's so valid because a client that I was just working with, they wanted to have like, what's the formula for this, Maren? Right? And there is a formula and there isn't. So there are questions and there's a process to discovering your life mission. And it's not the rational achiever way that we've learned to do something of here's the formula, you put it into this little thing and okay, here's what's mine to do. And then you know, like next, next, next, like, check the boxes right?
Stephanie Allen:I remember in high school, you go into the guidance counselor, and they'd say, you check all these boxes, and they put it into the computer and would spit out the job you're supposed to do. It's not that.
Maren Oslac:it's not that...
Stephanie Allen:...it's not that.
Maren Oslac:And that's where you mentioned the word anxiety. And I think that a lot of people do go into anxiety because we have figured out how to live this high achiever 'go for your success, be all in type of life'. But what we're all in to is what somebody else's idea of our life is. I just read some news that says that if you have all the answers, you're living somebody else's question.
Stephanie Allen:That's great.
Maren Oslac:Yeah, like, it's so true. Like if we have like, Oh, I know what to do next, I know what to do next. Yeah, I know, I got this, I got this right?
Stephanie Allen:Well, you're not you're not out of your comfort zone for one. If you're in your comfort zone, if you get it all figured out, you're in a place of familiarity, which means you're not growing, in fact, actually means you're actually de-evolving.
Maren Oslac:And the anxiety piece that you mentioned, is, there is a part of us when we're in that... there's a part of us that feels like, oh, I got this, I got this, right? There was another part of us that's like, is this it? You sure? You got this... but maybe there's something more? And, you know, you mentioned young people. I do see it in the young people where, you know, they're struggling with depression, and anxiety, and loss of identity and a lot of things that are going on there...
Stephanie Allen:and a lot of hopelessness of like, well, why bother? You know, the world is so messed up? How can I even make a difference? Or we feel that at the other end, too, when we retire or when we're at, you know, in a certain age in our life, or like, well, it's too late now. But it's never too late. Because I love what you said in the beginning, because for every problem there is on this planet, there is there is someone who was born to create that solution. And probably many people.
Maren Oslac:I want to add to that. Exactly, there are multiple people. So yeah, I do want to talk about that briefly of, you know, oftentimes, in our culture, we're in this, currently, we're in this, do it yourself, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, you know, get yourself going type of thing, world that we live in, which implies that, you know, the competitive spirit. It's me against you. Which implies that if we both have a similar idea for what needs to get done, it's your way or it's my way. And that the larger implication of that is that it's mine to do or it's yours to do. Right? First of all, especially any of the bigger problems on our planet, right now, nothing is meant for one person to solve it, it will be a collective. The Buddhists say that the next Buddha is a Sangha. And that means that it's a community. It is not going to be a single person, it will be a community. And so when we have like, the vision... I might have the same vision, as you do, Stephanie for, or a similar vision, for where we could go together, you know, as a planet or on the planet, I might have, like, for me, global warming is, you know, a thing because I love nature. And so nature is the thing, and there are a lot of other people who are also involved in nature and you know, wanting to save the planet. That doesn't mean that their vision's right or my vision's right. Or that I don't have a place in that. I do. My piece of that will be my unique mission. And I am critical to it, if that's what I'm called to do.
Stephanie Allen:And I think it's knowing what are you called to do. It's asking that question what is mine to do? What am I being called to do? And I'm going to preface that because it's not going to be called to do something that's easy or natural. Because what changes, there's an outer action in this world that is being required from us, but there's, it's going to take an internal action to make that external action happen. So let me explain that. It's like, something has to change inside of myself, my own inner narrative, my own self confidence, self worth, self love, all those different parts, self discovery, self awareness, all of that. It's going to have to change internally before I can start to feel, like in the outer world, what it is I'm here to do. Now, that's also a paradox because it's opposite to sometimes you have to start to do something to then know, oh, I have more awareness about myself. I don't like that. Right? You know, so it's a both and, I call it, it's not one or the other. It's not an either or, it's a both and, so it doesn't matter where you start, whether you start inwardly with yourself, or externally taking an action, both will lead to the same place, but we need both.
Maren Oslac:You also need the awareness that it's an ongoing process. Like I think that in our current check the box I've been there done that society, we lose that that kind of like, you, when you look at a musician who's a really masterful musician, they continue to do their base skills over and over. Anybody at a top level... I was just watching something about Simone Biles, and she's stepping back into the Olympics. And she does her version of scales every day. And in order to do the top level things, you have to have that foundation. And so when you're looking at what is your life mission, what am I called to do? It's not a checkbox, it's an ongoing conversation of like you said... something changes either inside of me or in the outer world, and then it changes the other one. So what I mean by that is, say, for example, for me, when I was doing my studio, I knew that one of the things I know about myself is that I'm here to help people to wake up to, like, get to the next level of their evolution. And that's also like, through life mission, through doing what they're called to do. And so when I owned my dance studio, I was doing that through this vehicle called dance. So my version of teaching dance always looked really different from most people's because, yes, I taught people how to do steps, I was also teaching them life lessons as I went. So that was an outer world, like manifestation, if you will, of my life mission. And then as I grew and evolved, I outgrew the studio, so that had to change. And I had to let go of that, which was whole process in itself, right? And then so the outer world changed. And then guess what next is, I'm challenged on the inside. So there's this ongoing process and conversation of what is that evolving to? And what does that look like for me now? And what is it calling me to next? It's not a checkbox.
Stephanie Allen:Yeah, I think we've got to get over that I've arrived. Cause you never arrive. As long as you're here and breathing there's something that not only are you meant to do, but you're also who you're meant to become. There's something in that beingness. Like, how am I being? The question that I often ask myself, because I feel like I'm here to help people remember how loved they really are, and how loving they can be and how to turn that both inwardly and outwardly. I really, really strongly believe that. And that takes a certain requirement of a shift. So it's like, so why I say that... my shift would be, is from a question. What would love do right now? If I was more loving? What would what would a more loving Stephanie do or be right now? And it's not about figuring it out. It's not about coming up with the answer. It's about allowing that question to guide me. So that I'm paying attention to that. Not like, I deserve better, and I deserve this. And I deserve. It's not that at all, not at a reactivity. It's like, what would a more loving Stephanie, respond to this or be with that or do this, and it's different, it really has changed my life.
Maren Oslac:What I love about that is... love, there it is. You mentioned that we need to get beyond this... 'I've arrived'. And I think for a lot of people, including myself, it feels like I need to arrive in order to feel good enough about myself. Right? It almost feels depressing to think that there is no arrival, because it's like, oh, shit, I have to feel like this for the rest of my life? And the question that you asked of what would a more loving Stephanie do? It shifts everything. Because now I can be in my life and not have to have arrived because my life is joyful and loving, and, so there is a sense of... joy. What do I want to say? There is a sense of arrival in that I've arrived at a place where I don't have to prove anything to anybody. That I'm in a conversation about why am I here? And what does that call me to do? So that I'm improving the world around me. For me personally, when I am really engaged in that I bounce out of bed out in the morning, I'm excited to get going. When stuff comes my way. I'm like, no big deal, right? I know when I get lost, because I start to be like, Oh, do I have to get out of bed? Right? Like, I go through the stuff and I'm like, okay, something is off, something inside of me is off, because I know how to be that other person. And it's fully around my meaning.
Stephanie Allen:Yeah, that whole arrival aspect of it. Because when you can ask a question, it's not that when I asked that question, what would a more loving Stephanie do or be is not saying that I'm not already loving, I am loving. And I'm asking for a an evolution of a higher possibility. Because I don't want to stay stagnant in the way of, yeah, this is good enough. Because that's where we get complacent. And that's where action doesn't stop. Or I should say, action does stop, it needs not to stop, because it needs to maybe marinate a little bit more, or I think we get stuck in our lives of like, I can't do anything anyway. So why bother? And I don't believe that that's true. I, you know, I have a wonderful friend of mine, who's in her 90s. And she's, she's such a dear soul to me. And she's often, you know, she's very spiritual, we have these great spiritual conversations. And she often says, why am I still here? And I say, I keep reminding her, I said, you know, as long as we're here, in the bodysuit called a human being, there's a reason. And it may not be the outer reason, like to do something, it may be an internal thing, of shifting away of seeing or being with yourself or with another, or being a role model or a mentor or just a hand on someone's back. We don't know. Like, sometimes we think that it's these great big, huge doing things that we have to do. But it's the internal behavior that actually precedes the external action.
Maren Oslac:Yeah. One of the things that our teacher says is if, and this is speaking exactly to what you're just saying is, if you're still alive, if you're still on the planet, there's something here for you to do. There's a reason, right? Because a lot of people will be like, well, I did my life mission, because they think of life mission as like, something you accomplish in the outer world, which there is there's an outer life mission and an inner life mission. So there are things that we will end up doing in the outer world, which are part of our life mission. And at the same time, that's not like you said, it's not a job, you may be doing part of your life mission in your job. And if that job finishes... is not like alright, done that! I've done my life mission, what's next? If you're still alive, there's a part of your life mission, that you're still doing that, that like, you're engaged,
Stephanie Allen:I think a great practice to do is just ask yourself, who in your life has touched you, and changed maybe a and that's that's the humility of a life mission to is like, you'd be surprised it's this tiny little things that change another person's course of life that perception or a course of action in your life, by how they are stops them from self sabotage or move them from and it's often being, just how they showed up to you in their life? Could be the things that we are most unconscious of because it's coming so naturally. But if we can become aware, not not grandparents, could be a teacher, could be a friend, arrogant to the fact of it, but if we can start to develop an could be a coach. But I think if you made a list of the people awareness of that, through practicing, of being... it's a game changer. We do become the antidote to the problems. I think of people who have overcome addictions or abuse, who touched your life, and made an impact, I'll bet you most of and they've really done the hard hard work, the 12 steps or, or, you know, getting a counselor and really working through their traumas, when an individual changes internally... it is extraordinary how much of a ripple effect that makes in this world. How much they help others, and they don't even know them didn't even know that they had made that impact. that they're helping others. Because like the old saying the hurt person hurts people. They don't know that they don't know.
Maren Oslac:That's so true So those are life missions. Right, that, you know, I mean, I was thinking about the 90 year old woman that you mentioned, and we don't know, what people are holding for us. What I mean by that is we're only aware of about 3%, of what is actually going on. So our visual, they've shown that, you know, like, visually auditorily, all of our senses pick up about 3% of what is actually happening in the world, on the planet, etc. So that means there's 97% of what's going on out there that we're not even aware of. And we make these judgments and these, you know, assessments based on our 3%, which is all we can do, and I get that, and we need to leave space for, what if there's something else? So somebody like your friend, you know, it's like, she may not have, like you said something in the outer world that she's, quote unquote, doing. But she may be holding an attunement for an entire community that we're just not even aware of, that she may not be aware of, that she has changed and evolved and gotten to a place in her life where she has such a sense of herself, or she has, you know, whatever the gift is that she's bringing, and just being on the planet, like a little acupuncture needle, she's like the little acupuncture needle in the middle of the community right? Making a difference just by being there. Like an acupuncture needle is both active and passive. It goes in and it sits there. And by sitting there, it creates all of this change in the body, it allows for the flow, right, and, and when I think of my life mission, I do think of myself as a little acupuncture needle, so I'm not needing to go and do, sometimes I'm called to, more often, it's just my presence, as I do my work, and I keep evolving myself, then what I bring to the planet has that much more energy, and is changing that much, that many more people and impacting. Oftentimes, like you said, without my awareness, most of the time, I would say without my awareness,
Stephanie Allen:I think that's so true. Because I think if we are aware, that then goes to our ego, right, and, and then it gets all torqued. But I often think it does, I often think of of like school, in order for you to evolve in school system, you have to pass in your assignments. You get an assignment, you have to pass it in. And hopefully you complete that assignment. And I feel like that's kind of our, our mission in our life is that each one of us has been given an assignment. And that assignment is not going to be easy. It's not supposed to be easy, because it's the assignment that you're going to get, that's actually going to change you, it's going to break your heart open, it's going to give pain, it's also going to give pleasure, it's going to give joy, it's going to open your eyes, it's going to open your perception, it's going to change you. And each one of us has an assignment that we're meant to complete and pass it. And some of us don't do that assignment, we don't want to look at it too hard, too difficult, you know, whatever. And so those assignments, then get handed down to the next generation, whether you have children or not children, it gets handed down to the next generation. And every generation is carrying a lot of assignments. But the thing is, is that anyone who's carrying an assignment also has the light to transform it. And to in actually pass it in, to do it. But we need each other, because it is getting heavier. And we this is why we're coming together. Because when we come together, we can so solve problems so much more with joy and meaning and purpose. And with a lot less effort. It doesn't mean that there won't be effort, there'll be effort, but it'll be a different type of effort. And I look at it that way because I often will ask myself the question I and you know... and I pose this question to all of you out there listening to is that? For what purpose were you born in this time, in this place? You know, with these people, with this situation? There's a reason. And perhaps there's something there about what your assignment is. What are you here to come and solve within your own heart and your own soul? And in doing so become the antidote and that that remedy that acupuncture needle for the community of which you can radiate.
Maren Oslac:...and it's with whom are you meant to do that? I do love that. And it gives me hope because it can be disheartening to look out into the world and see the number of problems out there. And when you can look at it and realize there is a solution alive on this planet, right at this moment, to every single issue that ails us. And I'm going to use the words,"all we need to do" is step into our life missions, because that's where the solutions lie. That's where it is. And so that's one of the reasons that Stephanie and I both do this work that we do.
Stephanie Allen:I was gonna say that, what is that work? What is that work? Where do you begin? I mean, we had a podcast with Carissa, which was a great beginning, you know, there's a process, there's a practice there. But I know, so many of you are like...where do I even start? How do I even find it? Where do I begin? It's not too late. It never is too late.
Maren Oslac:It never is. And depending on where you are in that conversation, you know, the book that Carissa talked about the Caravan of Remembering, it's a great place to start. There's a group called "huPerson". And if you're in business, they are a phenomenal resource, because they are doing the deep work with businesses and corporations and high level CEOs. And Stephanie, and I work with the people who are, you know, the solopreneurs, and the small businesses. So there are resources, regardless of where you are in your life and where you are in that conversation. And if you're not sure, you can reach out to us and, you know, as you know - if you're new to the podcast, you might not know you can find us on Facebook and on LinkedIn under the SoulfulLeaders. And yeah, we would love to hear from you and what are your questions around life mission.
Stephanie Allen:And what are your concerns even? Tell us. There's a lot of uncertainty. So let us know what what you're uncertain about or what you're curious about? Absolutely. So thanks for joining us this week on The Soulful Leader
Maren Oslac:Yeah. Where are you in your conversation? What does Podcast. And remember, you can always find us on our website, that mean to you? And you know, like, is this completely confusing? Is this like, oh, I don't know what that is and I feel called to it? That's how I felt I was like, I'm not sure what this is and I just know that this is important. So yeah, wherever you are, let's enter a conversation. We'd love to hear from you. on Facebook and on LinkedIn, and on our business website, which is www.TSLP.life. So we'll see you all next week on The Soulful Leader Podcast.
Stephanie Allen:And that wraps up another episode of The Soulful Leader Podcast with your hosts, Stephanie Allen,
Maren Oslac:and Maren Oslac. Thank you for listening. If you'd like to dive deeper, head over to our website at TheSoulfulLeaderPodcast.com
Stephanie Allen:Until next time...